Introduction

To Do Before “I Do” will guide you through the preliminary steps of creating your wedding. Whether you’re getting married for the first time, second time, or tenth time, I’ll make you think about things in a different and practical way. I will guide you through the basics and things that are often overlooked. You will read war stories from professional event planners and, I hope, even smile though it all. Plus, drawing on my experiences as a wedding coach, I will help you understand marriage, as well as weddings.

By the way, I’m assuming you’re the bride. Let’s face it, almost all of the time, the bride and her family do all of the work and pay most of the bills. I do encourage you, though, to get your groom involved in at least some of the decision-making and legwork.

Planning a wedding can be overwhelming when you look at the overall picture. And it’s OK to feel overwhelmed. I try to help by breaking down the wedding into individual pieces, so you can work on a bit at a time and keep your nerves calm. I’ll answer questions you never thought of, and will help you think about what it takes and what it means to be married.

Getting married is a very serious step, but you do need to keep your sense of humor throughout the wedding planning. During this time, you will get to see how each other deals with stress, decision-making, negotiating with family members, and financial matters. There are a lot of details to discuss and take care of, and you must keep each other informed about every decision you’ve made.

This guide presents a timeline to help you with your wedding planning, but the timeline is not etched in stone. Use it as a reference. Depending how much time you have to plan your wedding, you can either condense or expand the schedule. The timeline is reasonably comprehensive, but it is really just a suggestion; you do not have to include every item in this book or in the timeline in your wedding. Your timeline and the content of your wedding may be more directly controlled by your finances, as well as by your religious and cultural traditions.

I present details about a traditional wedding, but many people these days are planning unusual and distinctly untraditional ones. I’m all for this! I’ve seen receptions at museums, private clubs, and historical sites. I’ve also see an extremely casual one on a beach, followed by a touch football game. Don’t forget the wild and unusual weddings you can find in Las Vegas, presided over by Elvis or space aliens, set in Venice, or drive-thru, to name just a few. My personal favorite is getting married at home plate in a major league baseball stadium. So think outside the box in your wedding planning and, if you’re willing to do something different that won’t break the bank, give it some serious consideration. However untraditional your wedding, though, you will still want it to contain many of the elements of a traditional celebration, including some form of reception, music, flowers, gifts, and the participation of your friends and family. You will still find many of the ideas and suggestions throughout this guide about these items helpful and useful.

Regardless of the style of your wedding, you will be faced with details, details, details! The most important thing to do in wedding planning is to keep track of all of your details. The second most important thing is to keep following up with your vendors. The timeline will keep reminding you about details and about following up. I am also giving you tools to help you track the details. Oh, yes, the third most important thing is to breathe!

My web site, ToDoBeforeIDo.com, presents worksheets, charts, diagrams, and other tools and features for you to use as you plan. Whenever you see this icon in the margin, you’ll know that you can find more material and information on my web site that will help you and make your life easier. I encourage you to download these files, customize them for your wedding, and use them in your planning. [ICON]

Now, let’s get married!
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